あなたは死にかけています。

I'm watching the third movie (of the latest ones), and it's quite interesting..
But yeah I have nothing to post about.

Fucking cunt.
He admitted he doesn't love me, nor even care about me.
"If she really loves me she'd clean her room."
No dad, it's not about cleaning rooms. It's about you being the biggest asshole in the world.
It started in the morning, then I went to a friend's house, when I got back, he made me cry again.
I stopped crying, and he said something that made me cry again.
I can't fucking stand this, I NEED AN ACTUAL FATHER.
My mom always cares, listens, and loves.
My dad never cares, never listens, never loves.
Apparently when I was little, he talked to me only because I was really young so it was interesting to hear my opinions.
Fuck.

I refuse to believe that Katherine took over my bn.
But it's just, all the clues lead to her, EVERYTHING says it's her.
She was one of my 4 favorite boardies EVER.. and now...
She probably didn't realize I'd find out, either..
I just don't understand one thing.. why did she do it? What did I do?
We used to "Fight over Patrick" so much, and spazz over new pictures, and plan on killing Lisa...
Although it's just the internet, she was a very important person to me, now.. I know she's just a bitch.
If some of you don't understand what I'm talking about, my first account on fobr got "hacked".
But StrikeUpTheBand14 had my password, and just.. ruined it.
Ah.
I'm sorry Katherine, but you're fucked in the head.

I OWN NOTHING FROM THIS IMAGE.

My dad isn't going to be "my" dad ever again.
Yeah step-dad, long story.
Before I grew up, (as in started to have actual opinions on things, and wasn't THAT immature, etc.) he used to tell me stories, talked to me often, and actually acted like a father.
Now he always yells, doesn't give a shit about what I love.
I listened to the cover of Breaking The Law by Fightstar a few days ago in my mp3 with speakers, and he showed interest in it because he knew what band actually wrote the song. While I was listening to it he was trying to install something on the computer, and it showed some error, I didn't touch anything and searched the band name because he "forgot" it.
He was in another room, and I told him the name of the band, he came back to the computer and saw the error "It's all your fault." is the only thing he said.
I miss how we used to make up words, play LEGO and laugh.
But wait.. that was when I was 6?
My mom says he just doesn't know how to treat me because I've grown up.
He barely even plays with my brother, and he's his actual son.
Maybe he's just tired of us?
No matter what happens, it's my fault.
People ask me why I'm sad most of the time, welll, I HAVE MANY REASONS.
Even my mom tried to talk to him about it, yeah like 3 times, he doesn't fucking care.
I mean okay, don't act all "daddy" if you don't want to, but at least stop making me cry for small reasons.
Starts with "Where's the remote?" continues with "What do you mean you don't know?!" with a little shout, finds it somewhere obvious, where I didn't see it, and ends with "Dumb. How could you not see it?!" and me crying in another room.
The cause may also be "You must clean UP THERE" and points somewhere in my room where I barely put my stuff.
Also ends with crying.
My brother gets on my nerves, I shout, again, ends with me crying and him "don't fucking shout."
People won't even read it, but I need to get this out of my mind.
I cannot stand how fucked up you are, dad.

-___- I look awful.
I'm way in the left.
I'll ask Sachar if she can upload the one she took..
edit;//


thanks to nicole.

Purim yesterday yayyyy~ no.
I didn't go to school today because my feet hurt and they're red.
I walked on heels for about 3 hours.
BAD IDEA.
And I saw they guy who I liked then hated then liked then realized I still like him dressed as a Mexican.
NOW,
RANT ABOUT HIM:
Way to make a girl sad for six months, dude!~
Such a fucking bitch.
The sad part is, I still like him after the times he hurt me.
I just want a fucking apology.
I miss his sarcasm, our ICQ convos, everything.
But fuck, I don't want a friend who talks to me on the internet, and completely ignores me in life.
I remember when I was all "~omg he's perfect"..
Well I wish I wouldn't even start talking to him.
Hey, FUCK YOU DUDE.

nowhere fast, my whole life.
I wish I could just sit with the window open.
Feel the wind in my hair.
Radio on, people talking about the shit that's happening to this world.
What it looks like right now, how it will.
I wish I would stop worrying.
Why can't I make a difference?
Why?
Because my dreams are just too damn non realistic.

I'm so excited ^___^
(Jewish holiday, o rly?)
I got almost all stuff for my costume, and... yay ^__^
I'm gonna be dumb Avril L.
Nothing much really to write about, so yeah.

Boo.
We're going to see... ducks :|
And like explore the eggs and blah blah blah!
DNW.
BUT, we're missing a day so w/e.
I has a red scarf nao, lmao ;D
Meh. nothing more to write about.

I love my grandma and all, but the neighborhood she lives in scares me.. A LOT.
We went to the little "forest" they have there, and it had these two beautiful kinds of flowers.. WHICH I DO NOT KNOW THE NAMES OF :|
We ate ice cream after the walk, because it was so fucking hot, and when we had to go home..
all these homeless creepy people :||||
I had to go home and clean my room so I obviously I went outside again.
Met up with a friend, ate some candy, got hyper :|||, laughed at how my friends' friend sucks at English (look at the title of this.).
Oh & I'm scared shitless of homeless people again.
Walking home on a dark street at 9 pm = not good idea.
Thank god I ran away :|
So.. yeah ^___^
This is basically my diary now :]

This optimism thing really helps in life.
I met Haray today... I WENT TO 2ND AND 3RD GRADE WITH HIM.
We were like best friends for two years, I moved to another place and had to go to another school.
And taking walks is awesome.
:)

I love life.
I love you.
I love everything.
I haven't been this happy since 2006.
Life is fucking great.
I have great friends. I have everything I need. I have a future.
I'm happy with myself, and everything I have.
"think positive!" they said, I tried to, I did it.
There are 12 "I"'s in this post.
13 :]

I'm happy... finally.